tied together with a smile.

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conflicted again
This was supposed to be a fuss-free, simple thing that keeps me happy because there's a place for my frustrations to go.

But now, it's become so complicated that even I myself need to to rethink it.

I don't want to let go, but I can feel myself slipping back into that mode that I have tried so hard to get out of for the past 6 months. And another thing is that I don't trust him. This thing has gone way beyond the pre-defined boundaries and I don't know how to sort it out. Even he doesn't know what he wants.

BFF is right. We need a time out, and I hope I have the courage to walk away from it if things don't work out.

Sometimes, I wonder, what do i really want? I don't know, but what i do know is that I don't want to get hurt, and I don't want people to run away from me again. I'd rather do the running.

I need more time. 

On the up side, because this is screwing around with my mind, J hasn't made his round to my mind for a few days. Maybe, at the end of it, I'd just miss the presence of another companion, and not him anymore.

Why is it so difficult to move on?


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