"Everyone is scared of something. What are you afraid of?"
"Sometimes, i scare myself."
"Why?"
"I have bad thoughts."
"About what?"
The little girl's answer in the movie would be "you". But my answer is "me". I'm thinking nonsense again -especially why a guy like him is wasted on me. I really don't understand myself and my fucked up insecurity. Maybe being alone is better, that way i don't have to worry about this shit causing another breakup. Because if there was someone else more suitable, i would let him go even if i would want to fight tooth and nail so badly.
Ah, shut the fuck up idiot emily. So baby emily can have a good cry, then nerd emily can go back to mugging for MNO.
it's like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you
it's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
"Sometimes, i scare myself."
"Why?"
"I have bad thoughts."
"About what?"
The little girl's answer in the movie would be "you". But my answer is "me". I'm thinking nonsense again -
Ah, shut the fuck up idiot emily. So baby emily can have a good cry, then nerd emily can go back to mugging for MNO.
it's like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you
it's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
IT'S SO EARLY.
Haven't been up at 7.18am for a very very long time. Mr You-Know-Who left me sleeping at his house while he ran off to play soccer =.= Anyway, am here because i can't sleep because i watched case 39 yesterday. I seriously cannot watch freaky shows which ultimately equal to nightmares D: Worse thing was...renee zellweger's name in the movie was emily. The constant refrain of "Why, Emily?" by the little girl refuses to go away. Bloody irritating.
Oh, was facebooking and i felt a pang when i saw my OG in university going for sugar's birthday party. I didn't expect to be invited actually, because one, i never really assimilated ie found real friends, and two, i actually don't really like some of them. Hence, the people i spent the entire arts camp with become hi-and-bye acquaintances somewhat. Perhaps, just can't really click. Can't imagine what a huge part of my life would be without him.
Meeting JC friends later - those i should be able to keep.
遇上爱那一天 有个他能思念
决定把我整颗心寄放他那边
Haven't been up at 7.18am for a very very long time. Mr You-Know-Who left me sleeping at his house while he ran off to play soccer =.= Anyway, am here because i can't sleep because i watched case 39 yesterday. I seriously cannot watch freaky shows which ultimately equal to nightmares D: Worse thing was...renee zellweger's name in the movie was emily. The constant refrain of "Why, Emily?" by the little girl refuses to go away. Bloody irritating.
Oh, was facebooking and i felt a pang when i saw my OG in university going for sugar's birthday party. I didn't expect to be invited actually, because one, i never really assimilated ie found real friends, and two, i actually don't really like some of them. Hence, the people i spent the entire arts camp with become hi-and-bye acquaintances somewhat. Perhaps, just can't really click. Can't imagine what a huge part of my life would be without him.
Meeting JC friends later - those i should be able to keep.
遇上爱那一天 有个他能思念
决定把我整颗心寄放他那边
EU1101E is done, which means i am left with ST1311 tomorrow and MNO1001 next thursday.
Seem to have lost my drive to mug, maybe because its statistics. LOL. Its like, you won't do well anyway because of all the ah tiongs. Ugh. This will not do. Okay, i'm going to start studying after i'm finished with this post. Shall go to siglap to get a white mocha frap or something. Its super hot today.
My sleeping problems are really driving me nuts. ZZZ. I just woke up. Should be the exams right? If it continues after that i really don't know what to say. Anyway, clubbing seems to have helped my tantrums. I don't have mood swings as wildly now as i did before saturday. Hahaha. Damn tempted! :O
My green man is booking out today :D
我坚持的，都值得坚持吗？我所相信的，就是真的吗？
如果我敢追求，我就敢拥有吗？而如果都算了。。。不要呢。
Seem to have lost my drive to mug, maybe because its statistics. LOL. Its like, you won't do well anyway because of all the ah tiongs. Ugh. This will not do. Okay, i'm going to start studying after i'm finished with this post. Shall go to siglap to get a white mocha frap or something. Its super hot today.
My sleeping problems are really driving me nuts. ZZZ. I just woke up. Should be the exams right? If it continues after that i really don't know what to say. Anyway, clubbing seems to have helped my tantrums. I don't have mood swings as wildly now as i did before saturday. Hahaha. Damn tempted! :O
My green man is booking out today :D
我坚持的，都值得坚持吗？我所相信的，就是真的吗？
如果我敢追求，我就敢拥有吗？而如果都算了。。。不要呢。
Guess what, yours truly went clubbing last night.
Yes, yes. I know it's the examinations period. But mr. mojo thinks i'm too stressed. And somehow i have no other outlet to unwind, so we went to rebel last night. But but we left at around 1 plus in the morning (so unlike me!) and back to mugging and such. Shit, haven't partied for so long man, didn't realise how much i miss it until i was really there.
The music was not bad but somehow the crowd sucked. Maybe its because all the JC people are still having A levels and none of the university people are as crazy as me. Haha. Whatever. Damn tempted to ask mr mojo to go again this week seeing as i have to leave for indonesia when my exams end then no chance )): I think its so cute that he was the one, not me, who reminded us that our compromise of not going without each other still stood. Lol.
Sometimes i miss being single, because there's always this rush and you can feel the under currents when boys look at girls and vice versa. This excitement could be quite heady at times. Haha. And if i'm not wrong, this is why he liked clubbing too. Perhaps, its because i'm dangerous this way, that's why we have our rule. Because if he could relive his bachelor days, i would go out and relive my bachelorette days too.
Anyway, that said, i wouldn't exchange what i have now for all that for anything in the world. So you don't have to worry (:
Okay, back to mugging. EU in 2 days.
Won't you promise me that you'll never forget
To keep dancing wherever we go next
Yes, yes. I know it's the examinations period. But mr. mojo thinks i'm too stressed. And somehow i have no other outlet to unwind, so we went to rebel last night. But but we left at around 1 plus in the morning (so unlike me!) and back to mugging and such. Shit, haven't partied for so long man, didn't realise how much i miss it until i was really there.
The music was not bad but somehow the crowd sucked. Maybe its because all the JC people are still having A levels and none of the university people are as crazy as me. Haha. Whatever. Damn tempted to ask mr mojo to go again this week seeing as i have to leave for indonesia when my exams end then no chance )): I think its so cute that he was the one, not me, who reminded us that our compromise of not going without each other still stood. Lol.
Sometimes i miss being single, because there's always this rush and you can feel the under currents when boys look at girls and vice versa. This excitement could be quite heady at times. Haha. And if i'm not wrong, this is why he liked clubbing too. Perhaps, its because i'm dangerous this way, that's why we have our rule. Because if he could relive his bachelor days, i would go out and relive my bachelorette days too.
Anyway, that said, i wouldn't exchange what i have now for all that for anything in the world. So you don't have to worry (:
Okay, back to mugging. EU in 2 days.
Won't you promise me that you'll never forget
To keep dancing wherever we go next
We won the high impact award.
Okay, that was stated in a disbelieving manner - because i'm not trying to act modest or whatever, but it was really really unexpected. And somehow i don't believe we should have gotten it? Or maybe i think i shouldn't have, because i feel like i didn't put in enough effort - the EPO is off the charts. For non MNO students, that means the expectancy-performance outcome.
The happiness (?) is also marred by my own tiredness and pessimism. I wish i weren't like that, but RARRS. I can't help myself, so fuck it. I apologise to everyone here who has been at the receiving end - especially the ones closest to me.
Our professor - Dr. Lehman - besides giving everyone an Oscar lookalike, also distributed a copy of his favourite book entitled "the giving tree". The title says it all - the selfless tree gave the boy she loved everything and anything he needed to be happy, even at the expense of herself, because she would be happy. In fact, in the book, the only time she isn't happy is when the boy left her to do whatever things humans have to accomplish.
Ambitious as it sounds, i hope to be that giving tree to important people in my ilfe, especially for my bear bear. Hahaha. Okay, inside joke. Thus, is the perfect ending to my MNO1001 module, except that annoying exam at 5pm to 7pm (i'll be hungry in the middle!) on 3rd Dec.
sitting by the window, singing songs of love
Okay, that was stated in a disbelieving manner - because i'm not trying to act modest or whatever, but it was really really unexpected. And somehow i don't believe we should have gotten it? Or maybe i think i shouldn't have, because i feel like i didn't put in enough effort - the EPO is off the charts. For non MNO students, that means the expectancy-performance outcome.
The happiness (?) is also marred by my own tiredness and pessimism. I wish i weren't like that, but RARRS. I can't help myself, so fuck it. I apologise to everyone here who has been at the receiving end - especially the ones closest to me.
Our professor - Dr. Lehman - besides giving everyone an Oscar lookalike, also distributed a copy of his favourite book entitled "the giving tree". The title says it all - the selfless tree gave the boy she loved everything and anything he needed to be happy, even at the expense of herself, because she would be happy. In fact, in the book, the only time she isn't happy is when the boy left her to do whatever things humans have to accomplish.
Ambitious as it sounds, i hope to be that giving tree to important people in my ilfe, especially for my bear bear. Hahaha. Okay, inside joke. Thus, is the perfect ending to my MNO1001 module, except that annoying exam at 5pm to 7pm (i'll be hungry in the middle!) on 3rd Dec.
sitting by the window, singing songs of love
I am a selfish person.
That's what i realised after today - all i've been thinking about is me, me, me. I can't justify it, all i can say is it's easy to lose sight of yourself and everyone else when you're not content with your life. So maybe i'm greedy as well, all i want is more, more, more.
I thought of stupid things, and i said stupid things to the most important person in my life today. By behaving the way i behaved, i hurt him and i hated myself for doing that. The worse thing was i don't even know why i do the things i do. It's really time to wake up my retarded ideas.
Perhaps, i got used to thinking i love him more than he loves me, so i never realised that he actually loves me as much. And now come to think of recent events, i can see my importance to him.
I thought i needed to be left alone; i mean, that's what always happens right, you think more clearly and stuff. It took a mere quiet "is that what you really want me to do?" to send that deep vibe of fear that he would, really and literally, leave me. I cannot afford to repeat my mistakes - this one is too important to let go.
I want to apologise again. I'm really very very sorry. And i'm amazed -but extremely happy- that you love me despite my many flaws.
Shall end this very personal post with a full song - two is better than one, by taylor swift and boys like girls.
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought
"Hey, you know, this could be something"
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing
So maybe it's true that I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one
I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing
That maybe it's true that I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, "Hey,"
Maybe it's true that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking
I can't live without you
'Cause, baby, two is better than one
There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
But I'll figure it out when all is said and done
Two is better than one
Two is better than one
That's what i realised after today - all i've been thinking about is me, me, me. I can't justify it, all i can say is it's easy to lose sight of yourself and everyone else when you're not content with your life. So maybe i'm greedy as well, all i want is more, more, more.
I thought of stupid things, and i said stupid things to the most important person in my life today. By behaving the way i behaved, i hurt him and i hated myself for doing that. The worse thing was i don't even know why i do the things i do. It's really time to wake up my retarded ideas.
Perhaps, i got used to thinking i love him more than he loves me, so i never realised that he actually loves me as much. And now come to think of recent events, i can see my importance to him.
I thought i needed to be left alone; i mean, that's what always happens right, you think more clearly and stuff. It took a mere quiet "is that what you really want me to do?" to send that deep vibe of fear that he would, really and literally, leave me. I cannot afford to repeat my mistakes - this one is too important to let go.
I want to apologise again. I'm really very very sorry. And i'm amazed -but extremely happy- that you love me despite my many flaws.
Shall end this very personal post with a full song - two is better than one, by taylor swift and boys like girls.
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought
"Hey, you know, this could be something"
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing
So maybe it's true that I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one
I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing
That maybe it's true that I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, "Hey,"
Maybe it's true that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking
I can't live without you
'Cause, baby, two is better than one
There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
But I'll figure it out when all is said and done
Two is better than one
Two is better than one
Super duper tired because i went to bed at 3 last night and woke up at 7 this morning because of a certain someone who says that he'd think of me when he sees a wild boar -.- My exasperating boyfriend had an appointment at MMI, which is in medicine school about his knee. And guess what, the doctor's diagnosis: there is absolutely nothing wrong. LOL.
Griping about insufficient sleep aside, i'm glad i got to see him today even though i just sent him in last night. Haha. Sometimes i think the army is strange. Have to see doctor at 9.50am in the morning still have to book in on sunday night. Oh, but i finally understand why there are weird green men appearing in the science faculty. Quite a few of the doctors in MMI have ranks - guess they love working for the government.
Saturday night: talked about our future. Our future as in, the both of us as an entity. You would think, once bitten twice shy. I thought too much about the future once and i got hurt really badly. This time around, i had some reservations at first, because i don't know how he would take my obligations.
But when he insisted on staying despite all that happened, i gradually started to believe.
Though our hopes and dreams don't exactly fit in with each other's life, we actually thought about compromising and ta dah! there would be a happy ending.
Taylor swift's line from "fifteen": I swore I was gonna marry him someday, but I realized some bigger dreams of mine
Perhaps, at nineteen, i'm still none the wiser. I had big dreams; still do actually. If i had talked to you about them before, you'd realised getting married and a family wasn't one of them - until now.
and that's the way i love you.
Griping about insufficient sleep aside, i'm glad i got to see him today even though i just sent him in last night. Haha. Sometimes i think the army is strange. Have to see doctor at 9.50am in the morning still have to book in on sunday night. Oh, but i finally understand why there are weird green men appearing in the science faculty. Quite a few of the doctors in MMI have ranks - guess they love working for the government.
Saturday night: talked about our future. Our future as in, the both of us as an entity. You would think, once bitten twice shy. I thought too much about the future once and i got hurt really badly. This time around, i had some reservations at first, because i don't know how he would take my obligations.
But when he insisted on staying despite all that happened, i gradually started to believe.
Though our hopes and dreams don't exactly fit in with each other's life, we actually thought about compromising and ta dah! there would be a happy ending.
Taylor swift's line from "fifteen": I swore I was gonna marry him someday, but I realized some bigger dreams of mine
Perhaps, at nineteen, i'm still none the wiser. I had big dreams; still do actually. If i had talked to you about them before, you'd realised getting married and a family wasn't one of them - until now.
and that's the way i love you.
I still can't believe i dreamt of hitler talking about racial purity. Fuck. What in the world in happening to me?!
My daily routine now is:
11am - 1pm: waking up time is between these two hours
Save money, because breakfast is skipped.
1.30 to 3pm: lunch, television watching is included. Must nua abit also, because sometimes too full.
3pm - 6pm: Mug
6pm to 7pm: either go out to buy food if i'm sick of cup noodles or nap
7pm - 10pm: dinner, television watching again. Studying before or after, depending on hungriness.
10pm - 11pm: shower, computer usage
11pm - 3/4am: Mug. Supper in between or while studying. I had butter crackers last night. Haha.
Timetable changed today because i went to parkway with my mum to buy groceries. Haha. So shall go for a nap now before mugging starts. Will be seeing mr mojo at about...830pm? (:
it's been a happy three months :D
时间它像是河流 慢慢的轻轻推送
My daily routine now is:
11am - 1pm: waking up time is between these two hours
Save money, because breakfast is skipped.
1.30 to 3pm: lunch, television watching is included. Must nua abit also, because sometimes too full.
3pm - 6pm: Mug
6pm to 7pm: either go out to buy food if i'm sick of cup noodles or nap
7pm - 10pm: dinner, television watching again. Studying before or after, depending on hungriness.
10pm - 11pm: shower, computer usage
11pm - 3/4am: Mug. Supper in between or while studying. I had butter crackers last night. Haha.
Timetable changed today because i went to parkway with my mum to buy groceries. Haha. So shall go for a nap now before mugging starts. Will be seeing mr mojo at about...830pm? (:
it's been a happy three months :D
时间它像是河流 慢慢的轻轻推送
Busy day at the restaurant because there was a reservation for like, 31 people - all POLICE. LOL. There's the CID table, the high-up people table and so on, according to my mother. Oh wells, what bothered me was the staring. So annoying, like all the uncles never see girls my age before. ZZZ.
Anyway, good that i went, since i made use of that opportunity while helping out to tell my dad about my thailand trip. And thanks to my prior planning, he didn't ask much. Hopefully the next round of questions can be dealt with after i finish with my exams. Haha. I kinda miss my thailand friends and shopping/bargaining with them. Time past damn fast while you're having fun.
Oh, and i'm debating whether to go for ZoukOut. It's on the 12th Dec and i'm leaving at 7.15am in the morning and sunday is chatuchak day. Dunno if we'll be too shagged out. Mr. mojo seems keen though. Haha. But SO EXPENSIVE - $48. Can go rebel like twice.
Oh oh and i can't believe my group's MNO video got nominated for high impact and people's choice award -.- Like so random and so unexpected. Hahaha. Shit, then maybe now have to go for the Zoe film festival. Oh wells, was thinking of going to get the practice exam only. Heh.
Song to recommend is rihanna's russian roulette. I totally love this verse:
As my life flashes before my eyes
I’m wondering will I ever see another sunrise?
So many won’t get the chance to say goodbye
But it’s too late too pick up the value of my life
Anyway, good that i went, since i made use of that opportunity while helping out to tell my dad about my thailand trip. And thanks to my prior planning, he didn't ask much. Hopefully the next round of questions can be dealt with after i finish with my exams. Haha. I kinda miss my thailand friends and shopping/bargaining with them. Time past damn fast while you're having fun.
Oh, and i'm debating whether to go for ZoukOut. It's on the 12th Dec and i'm leaving at 7.15am in the morning and sunday is chatuchak day. Dunno if we'll be too shagged out. Mr. mojo seems keen though. Haha. But SO EXPENSIVE - $48. Can go rebel like twice.
Oh oh and i can't believe my group's MNO video got nominated for high impact and people's choice award -.- Like so random and so unexpected. Hahaha. Shit, then maybe now have to go for the Zoe film festival. Oh wells, was thinking of going to get the practice exam only. Heh.
Song to recommend is rihanna's russian roulette. I totally love this verse:
As my life flashes before my eyes
I’m wondering will I ever see another sunrise?
So many won’t get the chance to say goodbye
But it’s too late too pick up the value of my life
Debating whether to sleep now or to study, since i went to bed at 3 plus in the morning. Haha. Today was my chillax day instead of tomorrow, because chong seow wei has a deadline at 12 noon on friday so we went out just now instead. I bought a dress which looks more like a top =.= since it's so short and untight at the bottom. Oh and i also bought a pair of canvas flats, much like the moo moo pair i had to dump because it had holes ): Again i was unfated with sandals because the pair i liked was out of size. Sigh.
Tomorrow will be working the evening shift at the restaurant, which means i have to mug the whole afternoon after school.
Oh, and mr mojo is off to the jungle again tomorrow for 2 nights to hunt wild boars. Hahaha. No lah. He has some situational test thingy. Hopefully he'll be able to book out on saturday! Oh, and now he knows how stubborn i can be. Stubbornness isn't exactly good and can be frustrating at times but at least, i think its an honest trait? Hmmm.
好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你
Tomorrow will be working the evening shift at the restaurant, which means i have to mug the whole afternoon after school.
Oh, and mr mojo is off to the jungle again tomorrow for 2 nights to hunt wild boars. Hahaha. No lah. He has some situational test thingy. Hopefully he'll be able to book out on saturday! Oh, and now he knows how stubborn i can be. Stubbornness isn't exactly good and can be frustrating at times but at least, i think its an honest trait? Hmmm.
好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你
- Mood:
sleepy
Had a mini breakdown just now because i feel like my life is such a mess sometimes. So many things to do, so little time.
Now organising my MNO notes; just realised that the exam is 30% as opposed to the 40% of EU. And i don't even know the percentage of the final exam for stats. Boo.
At least there's shopping on thursday with miss chong to look forward too. Heh. Feel like spending unnecessary money. They better have something for me to buy.
To all friends: though life is like a battlefield sometimes, because we don't know what we're fighting for, it won't always be that way. Your family, boyfriend and friends are your armour! Hang in there everyone (:
Just as you thought of me while you were marching alone, i'm thinking of you when i'm tempted to stop studying ♥ press on
Now organising my MNO notes; just realised that the exam is 30% as opposed to the 40% of EU. And i don't even know the percentage of the final exam for stats. Boo.
At least there's shopping on thursday with miss chong to look forward too. Heh. Feel like spending unnecessary money. They better have something for me to buy.
To all friends: though life is like a battlefield sometimes, because we don't know what we're fighting for, it won't always be that way. Your family, boyfriend and friends are your armour! Hang in there everyone (:
Just as you thought of me while you were marching alone, i'm thinking of you when i'm tempted to stop studying ♥ press on
German test today was...not really good. Highly doubt i can get more than 60% because the Wegschreiben and Satzbau was really screwed up. Had no idea at all )): On the up side, german is over! Can concentrate on EU and the rest of my subjects now.
Seriously, this is my life. After school, come home, mug, watch tv, eat, mug again, sleep. I can't study with my friends, i realised because we're invariably taking very different modules. I don't understand what they're studying and they don't get what i'm learning. Don't ask me why like that then cannot mug together but it just is especially when i'm trying to understand the bloody cold war.
Time is passing quite fast; that is good. I think i've finally adjusted somewhat to mr mojo not being with me, as all adjustments go. I think field camp helped alot in this aspect, though obviously life without him sucks. He says he might be booking out on sunday instead. ZZZ. The army is fucking lame, seriously. Hopefully nothing goes wrong with the hand grenade throwing
Okay, time to get back to atomic diplomacy, truman's doctrine, gorbachev's perestroika and stalin the idiot. Greek? Wait till you actually read my notes.
Oh oh, if everyone has time, they should listen to taylor swift's new songs. Quite nice, i recommend "come in with the rain" and "jump then fall".
everytime you smile, i smile
everytime you shine, i'll shine for you (:
Seriously, this is my life. After school, come home, mug, watch tv, eat, mug again, sleep. I can't study with my friends, i realised because we're invariably taking very different modules. I don't understand what they're studying and they don't get what i'm learning. Don't ask me why like that then cannot mug together but it just is especially when i'm trying to understand the bloody cold war.
Time is passing quite fast; that is good. I think i've finally adjusted somewhat to mr mojo not being with me, as all adjustments go. I think field camp helped alot in this aspect, though obviously life without him sucks. He says he might be booking out on sunday instead. ZZZ. The army is fucking lame, seriously. Hopefully nothing goes wrong with the hand grenade throwing
Okay, time to get back to atomic diplomacy, truman's doctrine, gorbachev's perestroika and stalin the idiot. Greek? Wait till you actually read my notes.
Oh oh, if everyone has time, they should listen to taylor swift's new songs. Quite nice, i recommend "come in with the rain" and "jump then fall".
everytime you smile, i smile
everytime you shine, i'll shine for you (:
My trip is finally confirmed! :D :D It will cost me S$400 which is more than i expected but should be well worth my money. Heh. I'll be in Bangkok from 13th to 17th December. Only downside is i haven't exactly told my parents. Oops. But don't think it will be a problem.
Chatuchak, Platinum, MBK, Siam Paragon food hall, mr doughnut, fuji and the fantastic sukiyaki at centralworld - i get to see you and eat you again! Awesomeness. Hahaha. Damn happy now.
Most importantly i get to spend stress-free time with my friends and him (: Seriously, university life makes you want to thoroughly enjoy your holidays. Otherwise, you'll feel really cheated. Lol.
OH OH OH. Must tell you all to watch paranormal activity. I think its damn awesome despite the slow build-up. It's the first really creepy no frills ang moh supernatural movie i've watched. Sorry, people too young to have watched the blair witch project. But yeah, go watch if you have time :D
There's 4 more weeks of bmt left - and 4 weeks till exams totally over. I love how our schedules coincide (:
Plus next week he gets to book out for our 3rd month so it won't be a bad day like this month (: And now, i know, time cannot be a measure for everything.
我要给你会长大的幸福
Chatuchak, Platinum, MBK, Siam Paragon food hall, mr doughnut, fuji and the fantastic sukiyaki at centralworld - i get to see you and eat you again! Awesomeness. Hahaha. Damn happy now.
Most importantly i get to spend stress-free time with my friends and him (: Seriously, university life makes you want to thoroughly enjoy your holidays. Otherwise, you'll feel really cheated. Lol.
OH OH OH. Must tell you all to watch paranormal activity. I think its damn awesome despite the slow build-up. It's the first really creepy no frills ang moh supernatural movie i've watched. Sorry, people too young to have watched the blair witch project. But yeah, go watch if you have time :D
There's 4 more weeks of bmt left - and 4 weeks till exams totally over. I love how our schedules coincide (:
Plus next week he gets to book out for our 3rd month so it won't be a bad day like this month (: And now, i know, time cannot be a measure for everything.
我要给你会长大的幸福
Sunday evening, there he goes again. Time passes way too fast on weekends.
I realise all the time i have with him are escapades from my sham of a life, and each memory, big or little, is well preserved in the annals of this relationship that could be said to be destined from the very start.
Forever? Hopefully.
爱来过, 来得那么美那么凶
I realise all the time i have with him are escapades from my sham of a life, and each memory, big or little, is well preserved in the annals of this relationship that could be said to be destined from the very start.
Forever? Hopefully.
爱来过, 来得那么美那么凶
Wir bitten um Verständnis, dass wir auf Grund der großen Nachfrage bei diesem kostenlosen Dienst die Zahl der täglichen Abrufe limitieren müssen!
This was what the online german verb conjugator told me. Apparently, i've been using it too much and they must limit my usage because of the 'high demand' =.=" Okay, so now i is stuck with a load of verbs to be conjugated and i can only do it tomorrow. Sigh. I have a bad feeling about this semester test, think i'm going to screw up yet again.
And it's so late. He hasn't called or texted, starting to get worried even though i know its probably for nothing. ZZZ. Deciding if i should go to bed soon or continue studying?
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
This was what the online german verb conjugator told me. Apparently, i've been using it too much and they must limit my usage because of the 'high demand' =.=" Okay, so now i is stuck with a load of verbs to be conjugated and i can only do it tomorrow. Sigh. I have a bad feeling about this semester test, think i'm going to screw up yet again.
And it's so late. He hasn't called or texted, starting to get worried even though i know its probably for nothing. ZZZ. Deciding if i should go to bed soon or continue studying?
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
LOL. I just applied for Raffles Hall to stay in for Semester 2. But i don't think i'll get it lah, just applied for the sake of applying.
Anyway, too tired to blog yesterday. So here i am now. I want to rant and rave about the same things again but it's pointless isn't it. Because, some things you can never change no matter how much you wish to. Hopefully one day i don't break down because of this shit. Even my fat brother was like, "i didn't know we had to go there every fucking day." As for my skinny brother, he doesn't even bother. And as for me, i'm just maintaining attendance sufficiently to keep them happy.
I always get fucking upset when i see my father's face. So, now i've learnt to compartmentalize. No more emo-ing with other people outside of my family.
Today's friday. Which means mr mojo should be coming back from the jungle tonight. Wonder if i'll hear from him, but i don't think so. Shouldn't carry false hope. Haha. Time for lunch and mugging after.
Wish me a productive day. It's raining again.
我想我还是不够成熟, 还达不到你的要求
Anyway, too tired to blog yesterday. So here i am now. I want to rant and rave about the same things again but it's pointless isn't it. Because, some things you can never change no matter how much you wish to. Hopefully one day i don't break down because of this shit. Even my fat brother was like, "i didn't know we had to go there every fucking day." As for my skinny brother, he doesn't even bother. And as for me, i'm just maintaining attendance sufficiently to keep them happy.
I always get fucking upset when i see my father's face. So, now i've learnt to compartmentalize. No more emo-ing with other people outside of my family.
Today's friday. Which means mr mojo should be coming back from the jungle tonight. Wonder if i'll hear from him, but i don't think so. Shouldn't carry false hope. Haha. Time for lunch and mugging after.
Wish me a productive day. It's raining again.
我想我还是不够成熟, 还达不到你的要求
Today is a relatively good day at school because of an unexpected piece of news, which is my MNO project grade. We thought we weren't going to do very well since our project was only summed up by a video - which wasn't exactly well done. Then we got a shock because we actually had a better grade than the sex workers and spastic children's association group 0.0
Seriously, the sex worker video is interesting. Should go youtube and watch. If i'm not wrong, its called 'voice of geylang' or something.
Plus i think my german vocabulary test wasn't bad today (: just hope i wasn't careless.
BUT what's sucky is that my german semester test is going to be on monday instead of wednesday - which means i have less than 5 days to study one. OMG. Okay okay, no more volleyball on friday. Must go home and mug!!
My brother is leaving next thursday to go hiking in New Zealand 0.0 and those of you who know my family, its my FAT brother. LOL. Can't imagine. Wonder how it's going to be like when he's gone.
Nur mittwoch und ich vermisse er so sehr.
I wonder if you get it. Haha. Sighs. Now THAT is paradoxical.
那一天手心里的爱, 我放不开
等一个人多么孤单, 我一分钟又一分钟在忍耐
Seriously, the sex worker video is interesting. Should go youtube and watch. If i'm not wrong, its called 'voice of geylang' or something.
Plus i think my german vocabulary test wasn't bad today (: just hope i wasn't careless.
BUT what's sucky is that my german semester test is going to be on monday instead of wednesday - which means i have less than 5 days to study one. OMG. Okay okay, no more volleyball on friday. Must go home and mug!!
My brother is leaving next thursday to go hiking in New Zealand 0.0 and those of you who know my family, its my FAT brother. LOL. Can't imagine. Wonder how it's going to be like when he's gone.
Nur mittwoch und ich vermisse er so sehr.
I wonder if you get it. Haha. Sighs. Now THAT is paradoxical.
那一天手心里的爱, 我放不开
等一个人多么孤单, 我一分钟又一分钟在忍耐
Modules for AY2009/2010 Sem 2 are up. There are no level 2000 EU modules for me to take anyway. Looks like i'm fated to clear my faculty level requirements first. Applications for 2nd semester stay is opening soon, need to take note of that as well. I think i'm going to take 6 modules the next semester, so will be a real mugger than now and hopefully detaching myself from home will make it easier for me to study.
I've been listening to daughtry's home and i think this line really defines what a home should mean succinctly: i'm going to a place where love and feeling good don't ever cost a thing
Day 2. Time has been passing quite fast, maybe because i slept more last night. Don't know why but my migraine seems to be making an encore appearance in my life. I pray that he doesn't lose anything, doesn't get foot rot, doesn't have a hard time digging trenches, doesn't get anymore pressure sores, and many other things.
Haven't had dinner yet. ZZZ. Oh wells, time to get back to german and rough module selection after. Last vocabulary test tomorrow.
Anti-socialism is really bad for health, i agree with yuen.
握紧了手心里的爱, 我勇敢了起来
当我痛苦的时候, 也只好习惯
I've been listening to daughtry's home and i think this line really defines what a home should mean succinctly: i'm going to a place where love and feeling good don't ever cost a thing
Day 2. Time has been passing quite fast, maybe because i slept more last night. Don't know why but my migraine seems to be making an encore appearance in my life. I pray that he doesn't lose anything, doesn't get foot rot, doesn't have a hard time digging trenches, doesn't get anymore pressure sores, and many other things.
Haven't had dinner yet. ZZZ. Oh wells, time to get back to german and rough module selection after. Last vocabulary test tomorrow.
Anti-socialism is really bad for health, i agree with yuen.
握紧了手心里的爱, 我勇敢了起来
当我痛苦的时候, 也只好习惯
Feel so much better after telling eli everything this morning. After talking to her, i finally knew what my problem was, as in why i feel so shitty everyday.
I'm supposed to be that happy girl who laughs at every little thing, who's very family oriented but now, i'm don't even smile at home. I feel the happiest with mr mojo and his family at his place, or after a long day of hanging out with friends. It's not supposed to be this way, i'm not supposed to be this fucked up. But i can't help it, every time i look at my dad, i just get reminded of things and what i have to do. I feel so lousy about not being to say how i actually feel, how i can't stand up for myself because i'm afraid that what's originally mine will be given away.
God, if you're really there, please send me a way out. The tension is killing me, especially since my entire family knows about it now. My aunt has 'asked me out' for lunch, undoubtedly to talk about this, i didn't bother to reply her. I don't know how to. I feel so alienated and so tired - such that i don't even feel like accounting for myself. Just let them misunderstand.
It's not mr mojo's fault that this is happening. I won't let anyone think that way though i admit it would be easier to do my father's bidding if i weren't with him. But now i won't give up on us because of this.
Why didn't my parents realise i changed long before that?
On an unrelated note, mr mojo is on the first night of field camp. He called me this morning ((: So last night wasn't the last after all. Oops. Not hearing from him for 5 days is going to be really bad. Rarrs.
爱我, 有些痛苦有些不公平
I'm supposed to be that happy girl who laughs at every little thing, who's very family oriented but now, i'm don't even smile at home. I feel the happiest with mr mojo and his family at his place, or after a long day of hanging out with friends. It's not supposed to be this way, i'm not supposed to be this fucked up. But i can't help it, every time i look at my dad, i just get reminded of things and what i have to do. I feel so lousy about not being to say how i actually feel, how i can't stand up for myself because i'm afraid that what's originally mine will be given away.
God, if you're really there, please send me a way out. The tension is killing me, especially since my entire family knows about it now. My aunt has 'asked me out' for lunch, undoubtedly to talk about this, i didn't bother to reply her. I don't know how to. I feel so alienated and so tired - such that i don't even feel like accounting for myself. Just let them misunderstand.
It's not mr mojo's fault that this is happening. I won't let anyone think that way though i admit it would be easier to do my father's bidding if i weren't with him. But now i won't give up on us because of this.
Why didn't my parents realise i changed long before that?
On an unrelated note, mr mojo is on the first night of field camp. He called me this morning ((: So last night wasn't the last after all. Oops. Not hearing from him for 5 days is going to be really bad. Rarrs.
爱我, 有些痛苦有些不公平
Just spoke to mr mojo on the phone for the last time till friday night at least.
I didn't cry when i walked away at Pasir Ris but i'm having a hard time controlling the tap on my tear ducts now. I hope he gets my letter, if not the army is going to be my most abhorred institution for life. Not like they'd care, but whatever.
As for the post title, he said he's a happy panda when he's with me, and he called me a wild boar today. FYI: wild boars really are cute okay, especially the piglets! Go google the images, you skeptic. So i guess i'm a happy wild boar when i'm with him. That feeling is not just happiness, but coupled with a sense of contentment as well. It's the first time i've felt this even when we're just sitting in silence in the cab.
I feel really bad making him worry about my family shit and worrying his parents in case they feel that he's not spending enough time with them because he's with me.
Fuck, i'm going to miss him so much.
倔强说不痛, 假装什么伤都没有. 倔强抬起头 决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛, 假装什么伤都没有. 真的不难过 笑着和你挥挥手
I didn't cry when i walked away at Pasir Ris but i'm having a hard time controlling the tap on my tear ducts now. I hope he gets my letter, if not the army is going to be my most abhorred institution for life. Not like they'd care, but whatever.
As for the post title, he said he's a happy panda when he's with me, and he called me a wild boar today. FYI: wild boars really are cute okay, especially the piglets! Go google the images, you skeptic. So i guess i'm a happy wild boar when i'm with him. That feeling is not just happiness, but coupled with a sense of contentment as well. It's the first time i've felt this even when we're just sitting in silence in the cab.
I feel really bad making him worry about my family shit and worrying his parents in case they feel that he's not spending enough time with them because he's with me.
Fuck, i'm going to miss him so much.
倔强说不痛, 假装什么伤都没有. 倔强抬起头 决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛, 假装什么伤都没有. 真的不难过 笑着和你挥挥手
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