Seriously, what am I gonna do with the rest of my life?
The vision of a family and children with someone I love is shattered beyond recognition. Yet, I can't help but want it back even though he doesn't love me anymore. And I can't go back to being the progressive woman I once was, because I just seem to be stuck.
Everything doesn't seem like it'll be okay in the end.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
Up at 11am the next day after clubbing because people are coming to remove the things we wanna throw away for the painting to begin on Monday. Fucking falling asleep while waiting ):
Anyways, my exams are finally over! Even though I probably screwed myself up this sem, the relief of handing in the last script is so thick I could slice it with a knife. Haha.
Last night I finally met up with Gernaine and miss Looi, who has been really busy with exams and with tee because he had hfmd. Went back to Phuture with the both of them and it was raining FML. No drinks, no twisties. Damn sian but yuen's friend, the mr. Seann I've met last year came and we shared a jug of Malibu pineapple. It felt like I was drinking liquefied pineapple tarts haha.
Plus the music last night in the beginning wasn't very good either. So we were so bored we were almost just standing around. But as usual, things got better at about 2am. This is the good/bad thing about phuture, you know there'll be some good stuff at the end - just depends on how long you have to wait for it. And I think I will keep going back because they give free ice water hahahahaha. VERY IMPORTANT.
Bumped into Joshua Lum last night, PJ's ex, who was horrifically drunk. Somehow, you never know if drunk people know what they're doing, so do we continue making the excuse for them that they're drunk? It was quite disturbing because I didn't think I'll ever see him like that. And weirdly, he knows my name. I thought nobody knows me hahaha.
Okay the most important part of this post is to tell myself that I'm free. Not just from exams but from J's hold over me. I can finally let go of the fact that I don't belong to him, at least physically. Even though I can't feel what I'm feeling, I think the emotional part will come in later. I'm just happy I finally cleared this 'stage' after a 3 month struggle.
Want to end this saying that I'm really grateful to my friends, who have been there and understood me when no one else did. You know who you are ((: ❤❤❤